My Own JOURNEY to Wellness

So about 10 years ago, I was a super health nut! I typically ran 60-80 miles per week. I ran marathons, ran road races competitively, did weight training, was a coach, had a coach, was a vegetarian, etc. The highlight of my week was my long run! Can you imagine?! It blows my mind when I think about it now. Needless to say, those days are long gone...

God has since blessed me beyond my imagination with the incredible gift of raising 4 small children (ages 8, 7, 2, and 14 months) and one with a major medical condition. Anyone would agree that as a mom, your kiddies come first. Of course! However after a year of having Silas on the Gerson Therapy (and within that year I also was pregnant, had a baby, and then later miscarried another), I realized that I was living my life so "sacrificially" that I almost became a martyr to the therapy. I'll post one of these days about the typical day in the life of a Gerson Person. It's fascinating... Anyway, I was recently talking with Jordan and realized that I had pretty much forgotten who I was. That runner that I used to be and who my identity was tied up in, no longer existed. For the first time in my life, I was terribly out of shape--and I mean terribly! I wasn't quite sure what I enjoyed anymore... I realized that I've somewhat isolated myself in the past 16 months which is virtually necessary to get the day's work done, but I've missed out on many social events and even surprisingly some friendships have changed. It's been at times lonely doing this therapy... It's no one's fault, but some people don't tend to understand and often don't seem to validate the work of the therapy because it's not through conventional medical methods. It's okay, but it doesn't take away from the seriousness of Sy's disease and how imperative the therapy is to his health. I always knew and rejoiced in the fact that I was God's Beloved... but for the first time, I wasn't sure how much I was loving myself.

Anyway during this past year, I had some blood work completed a couple of times because I was having a few medical issues and in general, not feeling great. Finally my doctor sat down with me and said that as much as I want to be there for my husband, kids and others, I needed to make some radical lifestyle changes or I may not be around for them. Whoa... What?! So here I am busting my chops to do this amazing therapy for my kid and ironically, my own health is starting to deteriorate. How many times do we do that as moms? We give our all to our family and leave nothing or at best, the leftovers for ourselves. It took a little while to sink in but the reality finally hit that it was really time to turn my life around. I had the head knowledge since I'd been studying natural therapies for almost 10 years. I had implemented loads of what I learned but definitely still had my own vices and used some of them as a crutch to get through this last year. After spending hours and hours in the kitchen prepping for Sy, the last thing I usually want to do is to cook a healthy dinner for myself!

So I found this amazing kickstart for my life--ironically from a person who healed herself from cancer through the Gerson Therapy! When I find out more about her own story, I see so much of my own. Jordan and I both decided to challenge ourselves and felt that if we're going to speak publicly about Gerson and Sy, then we needed to understand exactly what it was like for ourselves and to better understand how Sy feels each day. We want to be the real deal. And Wow! All I can say is that it completely changed my life! In those 10 days, I found freedom! I realized that we give food--whether it be specific foods or sugar or caffeine, such power in our lives. I don't want food to empower me... I want God to empower me! There is such freedom in letting go and truly eating to live and not merely living to eat. It's amazing how quickly even my taste buds have changed when you take out salt and sugar. Not only did I cleanse through the liquids but I also started cleansing through a new morning regime for ME! Not in a selfish way but in a loving way... I've been convicted that I need to serve others, including my family, out of an overflow of what the Holy Spirit is doing in my own life. If we constantly give to others out of chaos and depleted reservoirs, then over time we will feel the effects of that on our bodies... So I've been really challenging myself these days and constantly asking myself, "What do I love to do?" and "What will bring me the joy I once knew?"

So that leads me to my new morning routine... It includes quiet time with God, prayer time through meditation, oil pulling, coffee breaks (not what you're thinking!), dry brushing, listening to beautiful music, and juicing. I no longer resent the therapy and think about what I'm missing out on but instead focus on the life and healing that God is doing through the therapy for Sy. Instead of thinking of restrictions, I'm focusing on the great things I do have and enjoy! It's all about perspective. I've found the gift in Gerson... It's more than just healing our boy... It's healing ourselves and reconnecting our spirit to our ultimate Healer. As moms, we absolutely have to take time for ourselves--quiet retreats for our own soul care. It's so important. So as I mentioned before, this is a journey for me. I'm not there yet but I'm learning and implementing all that I can. I'm even starting a course to bring about even more transformation and I'm pretty stoked about it. My life sure looks different than it did 10 years ago and I'm sure it will look even more so 10 years from now. So who knows?! Maybe, I'll even be back to running... :)

What about you? What things do you implement in your life for your own soul care?

"You have 22 new messages."

I’m so busy.   Life is crazy.    I can’t breathe.    I’m tired.    I’m stressed.    It’s chaotic. 

So lately I’ve been doing a lot of listening, studying, and soul searching in regards to busyness. It seems like I hear people over and over talk about how busy they are, how tired they are, or how crazy their lives have become. In this age, we are overwhelmed with emails, voicemails, facebook notifications, text messages, etc. We can never just power off, or so we think. We lose our sense of margin. We are always running from one activity or event to the next... Our time of “rest” entails grabbing a cup of coffee at our local Starbucks usually with our laptop or phone in hand. Sometimes it’s like we almost measure people’s “success” based on what their calendar looks like and how booked out they are. “Maybe we can get together in three weeks?” I often hear moms applauded for all that they do--the busier, the better. And if they manage to do this, this, this, this and this... Wow! Then they are really amazing! On the other hand, if you are a person that does have any time or extra margin in your life, you must be a loser that doesn’t get invited out to do much. 

We can even be busy for the sake of the gospel but meanwhile, are we “losing our own souls?” I can be as busy, scheduled, and stressed out as the next person but internally I struggle with this because for me, once I start running ragged my spiritual life definitely takes a nose dive. Where is the joy He promises? Christ died to give us the abundant life. I’m not sure that the word abundant here equates an overly full calendar with our reminder alarms going off every five minutes. I’m learning that the abundant life is a choice and that we are not victims of our schedule or how we spend our time (and I seem to forget this daily and have to keep reminding myself over and over). :)

I think the Scriptures are clear and Elijah can attest that God doesn’t always yell but rather gently whispers (1 Kings 19:11-12). I just love this passage... So I have to be self-reflective, “Am I taking the time to hear His gentle whispers? Am I listening at all? Am I quiet and still before Him? What does that even look like?” “Where is my joy?”

Soul care is something that I’ve realized through the years is absolutely necessary, although definitely not something I have mastered. Our mentor and dear friend, Stephen Smith, has written several amazing books but I am currently enjoying his one entitled Soul Custody--Choosing To Care For the One and Only You. He states that we are given only one life to live. We can’t go back and hit the re-start button. “...the message of soul care seems to contradict some of the most fundamental teachings of Jesus Christ, like, ‘Deny yourself,’ and, ‘The man who hates his life will keep it?’” But Steve beautifully writes, “Caring for your soul is never a selfish or egotistical act. It’s really an act of stewardship. We steward our souls by caring for them well. How can we continually give what we do not have? Caring for the soul is an act through which God can replenish your heart, restore your soul, and revive your day so you can meet the challenges of life, work, and relationships. Far from being labeled as sin, soul care is actually a biblical command.”

Proverbs 4:23:  “Above all else, guard your heart. For it is the wellspring of life.”

Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently.”

God invites us to rest easy in Him and only after that can we effectively love and minister to those around us--whether it’s our spouse, our children, friends, or others in need. Jesus was a great example of this cycle in his life. I’m learning that if I have put nothing into my own soul care then how can I pour myself out for others? 

So anyway, I’m loving this mighty reminder to take custody of my soul and to step further into intimacy with God. It’s something worth fighting for! It’s easy to get caught up with thinking that I don’t have the time but really, what else is more crucial and satisfying than resting completely in the arms of our Savior? Just to rest... soak in his love... feel his embrace... lay my burdens at his feet... let my worries fade away... and know in my innermost being that I am His beloved. 

“Soul Custody is a clarion call--a prophetic call to do something significant with your life before it’s too late.”  --Gary Chapman