My Own JOURNEY to Wellness

So about 10 years ago, I was a super health nut! I typically ran 60-80 miles per week. I ran marathons, ran road races competitively, did weight training, was a coach, had a coach, was a vegetarian, etc. The highlight of my week was my long run! Can you imagine?! It blows my mind when I think about it now. Needless to say, those days are long gone...

God has since blessed me beyond my imagination with the incredible gift of raising 4 small children (ages 8, 7, 2, and 14 months) and one with a major medical condition. Anyone would agree that as a mom, your kiddies come first. Of course! However after a year of having Silas on the Gerson Therapy (and within that year I also was pregnant, had a baby, and then later miscarried another), I realized that I was living my life so "sacrificially" that I almost became a martyr to the therapy. I'll post one of these days about the typical day in the life of a Gerson Person. It's fascinating... Anyway, I was recently talking with Jordan and realized that I had pretty much forgotten who I was. That runner that I used to be and who my identity was tied up in, no longer existed. For the first time in my life, I was terribly out of shape--and I mean terribly! I wasn't quite sure what I enjoyed anymore... I realized that I've somewhat isolated myself in the past 16 months which is virtually necessary to get the day's work done, but I've missed out on many social events and even surprisingly some friendships have changed. It's been at times lonely doing this therapy... It's no one's fault, but some people don't tend to understand and often don't seem to validate the work of the therapy because it's not through conventional medical methods. It's okay, but it doesn't take away from the seriousness of Sy's disease and how imperative the therapy is to his health. I always knew and rejoiced in the fact that I was God's Beloved... but for the first time, I wasn't sure how much I was loving myself.

Anyway during this past year, I had some blood work completed a couple of times because I was having a few medical issues and in general, not feeling great. Finally my doctor sat down with me and said that as much as I want to be there for my husband, kids and others, I needed to make some radical lifestyle changes or I may not be around for them. Whoa... What?! So here I am busting my chops to do this amazing therapy for my kid and ironically, my own health is starting to deteriorate. How many times do we do that as moms? We give our all to our family and leave nothing or at best, the leftovers for ourselves. It took a little while to sink in but the reality finally hit that it was really time to turn my life around. I had the head knowledge since I'd been studying natural therapies for almost 10 years. I had implemented loads of what I learned but definitely still had my own vices and used some of them as a crutch to get through this last year. After spending hours and hours in the kitchen prepping for Sy, the last thing I usually want to do is to cook a healthy dinner for myself!

So I found this amazing kickstart for my life--ironically from a person who healed herself from cancer through the Gerson Therapy! When I find out more about her own story, I see so much of my own. Jordan and I both decided to challenge ourselves and felt that if we're going to speak publicly about Gerson and Sy, then we needed to understand exactly what it was like for ourselves and to better understand how Sy feels each day. We want to be the real deal. And Wow! All I can say is that it completely changed my life! In those 10 days, I found freedom! I realized that we give food--whether it be specific foods or sugar or caffeine, such power in our lives. I don't want food to empower me... I want God to empower me! There is such freedom in letting go and truly eating to live and not merely living to eat. It's amazing how quickly even my taste buds have changed when you take out salt and sugar. Not only did I cleanse through the liquids but I also started cleansing through a new morning regime for ME! Not in a selfish way but in a loving way... I've been convicted that I need to serve others, including my family, out of an overflow of what the Holy Spirit is doing in my own life. If we constantly give to others out of chaos and depleted reservoirs, then over time we will feel the effects of that on our bodies... So I've been really challenging myself these days and constantly asking myself, "What do I love to do?" and "What will bring me the joy I once knew?"

So that leads me to my new morning routine... It includes quiet time with God, prayer time through meditation, oil pulling, coffee breaks (not what you're thinking!), dry brushing, listening to beautiful music, and juicing. I no longer resent the therapy and think about what I'm missing out on but instead focus on the life and healing that God is doing through the therapy for Sy. Instead of thinking of restrictions, I'm focusing on the great things I do have and enjoy! It's all about perspective. I've found the gift in Gerson... It's more than just healing our boy... It's healing ourselves and reconnecting our spirit to our ultimate Healer. As moms, we absolutely have to take time for ourselves--quiet retreats for our own soul care. It's so important. So as I mentioned before, this is a journey for me. I'm not there yet but I'm learning and implementing all that I can. I'm even starting a course to bring about even more transformation and I'm pretty stoked about it. My life sure looks different than it did 10 years ago and I'm sure it will look even more so 10 years from now. So who knows?! Maybe, I'll even be back to running... :)

What about you? What things do you implement in your life for your own soul care?

Excuse Me...Did You Lose Something?

Last night, as Heather and I were finishing kitchen cleanup and making our way to bed after another long day, we had the first opportunity to really talk. Not just be in the same car or the same room like we did most of the day, but give each other our undivided attention. As Heather continued to talk and share her heart, I realized that it was snowballing into more than either of us planned. God gave me a great opportunity to appreciate my wife and what REALLY lies in her heart. Our time ended with tears and much needed prayers. I know how my wife goes way beyond the call of duty (often to her detriment). In the middle of the whole process, I again realized the weights my wife carries (or ones that are pushed on her) and this verse popped into my head:

"If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles." Matthew 5:41

So, how'd we get there, you ask? I guess it all started when I heard that someone said to Heather, "So, it looks like things are going pretty great for you guys." At first glance, this seems like a pretty benign statement. And you know what? Things are not just pretty great, they are really great compared to many other people in this world. We have a marriage relationship that gets better the more we are together (seriously, it's crazy), we have our kids who we can hug and kiss (not enough), we are experiencing physical health in a whole new dimension with Sy, we have a roof and beds to sleep in, I have a job that pays (most of) the bills, we have cars that run, we have a great community around us, and we have a Father that continues to call us out to a life of abundance. The list goes on and on, but I'm sure you get the idea.

But there's the other side of things that people don't necessarily see. The fact that our marriage has taken the biggest beating ever over the last several years... That although it's so worth it, this therapy doesn't stop and it's more work than the two of us can handle... That our kids are actively seeking God, asking questions, and are ready to be led, but there's often times no one is available for this meaningful conversation... That there are still serious concerns about Heather and her physcial health, lack of sleep, and emotional load... That our world is really financially crumbling even though I know without a doubt that God has led me where I am professionally... That we recently received news that radically affects our household and the future of our family as we know it (another blog post to come)...

And all this just underscores my point.

My wife has numerous reasons to complain, whine, fall on the floor, kick, scream, walk away, bail out, flip the bird, etc. But that's not who she really is. I know it. I get to see and experience her heart in a way that other's don't. Even though she's left at home with four little rascals, she ultimately chooses JOY. Even though homeschooling with two babies is not really possible, she chooses JOY. Even though a juicing/nutritional therapy is way too much for our family, she chooses JOY. Even though she doesn't get a break and has been begging me to find an "Alice" (like from the Brady Bunch), she still chooses JOY. Even though her husband has constant bad breath and leaves messes, she still chooses JOY. Even though she is often buried beneath huge amounts of verbal vomit, a hand sticks out and waves a JOY flag. Even when everything around her is screaming at her to let go of her joy, SHE WON'T LET GO.

So why does is appear "like things are going pretty great for you guys?" Because our God who is Great shines His Spirit through my wife in ways I only wish I could. When Heather speaks to others, she is intentional and focuses on them more than herself. When she fields complaints and deals with "life-drainers," she continues to do everything she can to be a "life-giver."

I'm often embarrassed by how differently I would handle the conversations she has with people. Since I love to drag out and drop the huge axe of sarcasm, I've told her to start telling people that complain that "...I am so bored every day. We really wish we had something to fill our time. Our family just sits around with blank stares on their faces."

I know for a fact that I married the right person. Thank you, God, for making my wife unlike any other!

If you see this lady, will you please give her our number?