Looking Ahead to Hindsight...

As we've been approaching the New Year, our family has been thinking through some big questions. We've been taking a real hard look at our life and looking at it from the perspective of 30-40 years from now. Do you ever think about that? It sure brings up A LOT of questions...

Did we follow our God-given passions or sell out to someone else's idea of success?

Were we obedient? The first time, every time, and with a happy heart?

Will we have accomplished what we felt we needed to or did we waste most of our time?

Did we do absolutely everything we could to honor our marriage?

How will we be seen by those around us? Faithful? Joyful? Kind? Peaceful?

Will we have any regrets?

Were we ACTIVELY involved in raising our children to the best of our ability?

Did we pursue health in all aspects or did we allow unhealth to seep in?

Even as I write these questions, I'm kinda scared to answer these now. So, how do we make sure that we will be able to answer these with no hesitation and with ethusiasm?

As you may know, 10 years ago, Heather and I took a huge step and obeyed a call made on our lives. Although it was scary, it was the best ride we've ever been on. We saw miracles happen frequently and our direction was clear. I'm not kidding, our paths really were straight! Even though that phase didn't end the way we planned, our hearts and our marriage were in the best place they could be. It was a life of living with no regrets...

10 years have passed now and we continue to see blessings and miracles come our way, regardless of the amount of our faithfulness. We look around and see more than we deserve and we are watching Sy be healed from a disease with no cure! From the outside, everything is perfect. We have pursued the more "traditional" route and it's worked out fairly well. Even though our resources don't add up on paper, God has provided for us in huge ways. Our life has definitely felt like Elijah in 1 Kings 17:

God then told Elijah, “Get out of here, and fast. Head east and hide out at the Kerith Ravine on the other side of the Jordan River. You can drink fresh water from the brook; I’ve ordered the ravens to feed you.” Elijah obeyed God’s orders. He went and camped in the Kerith canyon on the other side of the Jordan. And sure enough, ravens brought him his meals, both breakfast and supper, and he drank from the brook. Eventually the brook dried up because of the drought. Then God spoke to him: “Get up and go to Zarephath in Sidon and live there. I’ve instructed a woman who lives there, a widow, to feed you.”

But, the question is, what do you do when you sense your brook has dried up? What do we do when we feel that God is calling us to a new life? How do we not question God and say that the way he has been providing was just fine and we'd prefer to just keep things that way?

"Before we respond, could You please give specifics on how exactly you will provide next?"

"Lord, it just doesn't make sense to change things now!"

"Even though we are continuing to struggle, look at all the work we've done to get here! And we may not be able to get back here if Your plan doesn't pan out!"

These are all conversations and feelings that have been stirring around... However, when the worrying settles down and we stop and listen to our hearts, we know that we have been circumventing the life we were created for. Oh brother, if you only knew the things we have considered...

Late last night, Heather and I came across a network of people who have left the life they knew to live a fuller life. An abundant life. A life of spending time investing in a Kingdom, rather than things we could care less about. A life to use the gifts we love to use, rather than burying them deep under busyness, menial tasks, and stress. A life that doesn't push our faith, our marriage, our children, and our friends to the side. It's calling to us...in a big way.

But how do we get from here to there? Open doors, Lord! We're ready!

About the Author...

So who am I? I suddenly realized that after blogging for over two and a half years, I've never taken the time to tell who I am and what is currently on my heart.

I'm Heather!

I try to be groovy, green, and keep my heart gunk-free. I am God's beloved and strive to live as an ordinary radical on this journey of life (more on that later). I am a mother of 4 small children--Esther (7). Silas (6). Phoebe (almost 2), and Asher (4 months). Believe it or not--fertility, pregnancy, and childbirth did not come easy to me and all of my children are definitely miracles.

Sy & Essi

I used to be a public high school teacher and cross country coach back in the day... I now homeschool Essi and Sy and that tends to be a daily adventure! For those who don't know us, Sy is a special needs kid. He is allergic to all food. Seriously. He was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis and is now ironically undergoing the Gerson Therapy in hopes to heal him.

He is in 1st grade and Essi is in 2nd grade. Phoebe is about to enter toddlerhood and Ashy has just entered "smileyhood." I cloth diaper (crazy I know; future blog post) and our home/lifestyle has to be very green for Sy's healing (and to also be good stewards of this earth). My husband, Jordan, is a firefighter and a paramedic and selflessly puts his life on the line in order to serve others.

Phoebe

Asher

This is a big year for us. In 2002, God called us into full-time missions. Obviously, this was before we had kids. I had been on staff at a church in Atlanta for a few years and just loved it. During that time, God grabbed a hold of both Jordan and my hearts and asked us to leave it all behind. We gladly obeyed, stepped out in faith, and lived out of a VW Vanagon (with two large dogs) and traveled the country to raise support. Toasty, our "home" for that year, was super groovy and we just loved her.

Toasty

We were living on mission in every sense of the word. We had raised our support in record time and then... In 2003, that chapter abruptly crashed ending in our brokenness. We knew that God had called us to the mission field--no question about it--but we later realized that He called us in order to break us. For us to come to the very end of ourselves with nowhere to turn but upward. We had given up all that we knew--lost everything if you will--but it was for heaven's gain. It was through sweet surrender that we experienced the loving, healing had of God (The Potter's Inn).

We love the verse John 10:10--"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." So the last 9 years have been great and we are richly blessed. We are so thankful! It's a bit shocking though that so many years have already passed us by... 4 kids later, several moves, a new career, an amazing church, supportive friends and family, and we are still in pursuit of what God wants to do with our crazy little family. We've needed the rest. We've needed the time to heal, plant roots, focus on our marriage and children, gain education, gather life experiences, etc. but that call on our lives... Those last words of Christ that continually ring in our ears... 

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:19-20)

We try to ignore it but, almost a decade later, it's still there. As I teach it to my children, they ask, "Why aren't we doing that?" "What does that look like?" Bam! No escaping it. No beating around the bush with them. 

So as I try to stick to the topic and explain who I am, I feel like I can't appropriately do it without explaining what's been on my heart lately. This is what my husband and I talk about when we get a free moment... What we dream about... This yearning is it. So what is next for us? We're not sure. We would covet your prayers. Even as we homeschool this year, our theme is on different countries and cultures and we are ALL on our faces seeking God for his favor and direction on what lies ahead for the Hargers. It may be to stay exactly where we are but just to focus the lens of our lives a bit differently. We want to be content but not get too comfortable... Are we out making disciples? Are we going to the ends of the earth? What are we truly sacrificing for the poor? ...the widowed? ...the orphaned? Do we even interact with these people that Jesus loved so much? So this is where we are on our journey. I truly love my life but the reality is that we were called by Jesus to give it all up--everything. His call is to come and take up the cross (Luke 9:23). It is a call to radical faith, complete surrender, total abandonment, and forsaking everything. His power is made perfect in our weakness.

I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for [God] to come through... I don't believe that God wants me (or any of his children) to live in a way that makes sense from the world's perspective, a way I know I can "manage." I believe He is calling me--and all of us--to depend on Him for living in a way that cannot be mimicked or forged. He wants us to walk in step with His Spirit rather than depend solely on the raw talent and knowledge He's given us.  

                                                                                        -Francis Chan

Wow! It is really a call to die. It totally scares me yet awakens me to my core because I know it is truth. So please pray with us. Pray for us to be ordinary radicals for the Kingdom. Pray that those opportunities would arise so we can move forward. 

Meanwhile, how can we pray for you? Let us know!